Three TV Shows and Three Radio Shows in Two weeks

interview-with-vovI was recently visiting Cameroon my Motherland and was so touched by the reception my book and l got there. Being invited to Three TV Shows and Three Radio Shows in barely two weeks, indicated to me that my message was one several longed to hear, it was one most could identify with somehow and it was one many were willing and ready to discuss. For these, I am most grateful and humbled.

The journey to publishing that book wasn’t an easy one. Think about easy in all aspects of human pathology and you can understand the battles I fought to get that done. I did a post on that journey and you could refresh right here. Iy still ain’t over and yet another book is in the pipeline.

Yes, I was lauded for having done this ‘huge’ contribution to breaking ‘Taboo’ and as one of my fans put it: “U have broken societal and cultural norms that even some of the brave have dared not to touch. I’m am definitely ur number 1 fan!!!!” and another wrote: “U ve conquered ur fears and broken societal barriers to discover who u are, love you have a place and a voice that which the girl child has been denied.”

Yes, I haven’t done the most unimaginable thing but oh yes, I the woman and daughter many thought to ‘know’ and maybe even ‘master, has dared to go ‘there’. And yes, I go there because I think it is high time someone went there. Obviously and perhaps not for my sake anymore, but for surely countless other African girls and women and of course all woman folk the world over.

Some men have reached out to me to, if I was keeping track, I bet the men have been more than the women. Indeed, my first TV appearance was in the presence of three able gentlemen,

With the News room crew
With the News room crew

who spared not an inch in their questions, thoughts and even looks, as if to say; ‘yes lady – we salute your audacity and wish to baptize you with this fire before unleashing you to the public’. 

Discussing albeit delicate and maybe even ‘frightful’ topics, like Child and spouse abuse, adultery, mental health and much more, meant I was ‘looking for more trouble on my already frail heart’.

But dear gentle readers and followers, the truth is that, that is all part of my therapy and message. I will never say that enough. It helps me as much as it does you, to write and read all what I write. It even gets me to go into deeper ‘soul searches’ in my ‘healing journey’. I have come a long way and the road ahead still seems ever menacing. Yet, I am ready and hope for good and better holistic health to carry on.

A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song. Maya Angelou

And so, for all these, I am not relenting my efforts to bring such discussions to the table.  Indeed, the very thin line between my ‘private and public’ life, may as well be wiped out by such ‘adventures’ but that will only serve my ‘soul songs’ better. What could be your view on this?

What is wrong with those -selfs’?

Self hate indeed
Self hate indeed

Dear Pals, today I wish to write about those negative selfs we consciously or unconsciously bestow on ourselves and cling onto. I  mean the likes of Self-Doubt, Self-Denial, Self-Harm, Self-Hate, Self-Sabotage and all. l recently read a very enlightening post on a site called PsychAlive, dwelling in detail on self-sabotage and l wish we do read it too.  I as usual, will write about my personal experiences with some of those ‘negative emotional releases’.


I have not always suffered from self-doubt but the few times l suffered, l suffered immensely. Just for some refreshing, this is what l found out could be a good way to understand this self-doubt:

“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”  William ShakespeareMeasure for Measure

On Self-Doubt
On Self-Doubt

l remember doubting my ability to practice law as a lawyer notwithstanding the fact that l won my very first criminal case, and quiet a few others. l was so full of self-doubt to the extent that at some point l stopped going to court and lost interest completely in even doing briefs. On  the  PscheAlive website, they use the word ‘critical inner voice which is a term coined by psychiatrists to explain what they have found is that ‘traitor up there’. That voice sometimes takes such control of us so much that we really can’t help ourselves any more. We may have to undergo therapy, counselling or even take medication just to be able to calm both them and us down.

We are therefore advised to delete the word
We are therefore advised to delete the words

It however in my modest opinion takes much more than deleting the words. Positive action is needed too. It can’t come from us alone but the greatest action must originate from within. This I know and have read, is the first and most important step to tackling those ‘traitors in our head’.


But for how long I wonder?
But for how long I wonder?

l lived in self-denial of my immoral acts. l lived in self-denial of my probable mental issues. I did not think l owed anybody an explanation of why l behaved the way l did and l did not think l could reach out for help especially to a professional. Simply put, l refused to look at myself in the mirror, l did not want to accept the me l had become. But then, sometimes, even those around us may equally be in denial of our ‘situation’. They may think we are ‘acting up’ or simply ‘fine just like that’. 

Understanding ourselves is very important
Understanding ourselves is very important

Self-Harm, Self-Hate, Self-Sabotage

I only physically harmed myself when l stooped so low as picking a knife. But emotionally and otherwise, I felt some solace doing all those hurtful things to myself like going out with other men although l knew that to be wrong. I tolerated my X’s domestic abuse because l thought l deserved it. l hated myself so much and was always so angry within when l was complimented by all and sundry. In fact, publishing that book was equally a way of humiliating myself in public.

Dear gentle readers and followers, l know we each deal with all such -selfs’, and that we are striving to move forward. I hope my posts help and probably generate some comments or even likes.

Book Review: Gulabi by Pankaj Suneja

A pretty cover I must admit
A pretty cover I must admit

Hey Pals, I know I said I would start doing book reviews in August, but, I couldn’t wait any longer to do the first of such reviews. Actually, I was surprised to be asked by this Author to review his book. He is thus my Guinea Pig or rather his book is, but fortunately it is in my genre of choice domain: well, creative Non-fiction in this case.

Synopsis of the book

Schizophrenia is challenging disorder often characterized by abnormal social behaviour and a significantly altered perception of reality. Its treatment largely depends on medications and psycho-social interventions but no single approach is widely considered effective for all patients. Through this book I offer my readers a glimpse into the multifaceted world of schizophrenia in the form of fictitious story line revolving around two characters Monty (the psychotic part)  and Virginia (the non psychotic part). The boundary between the two is permeable. Monty conjures up ‘Gulabi’, following his abrupt separation from his long time partner, while Virginia, having suffered from a personal loss sets out to follow her lifelong aspiration to travel the world.

About the Author

Pankaj Suneja is a recent graduate of a Masters of Arts in Psychology. He had a psychotic episode in 2010/2011 and had to suspend his studies. When he got better thanks to medication and family support, he returned to the University in 2013 to finish his thesis. May be of course, his work was on the experience of of trying to understand the occurrence of a psychotic episode in as authentic a manner as possible. He hoped to do this by suspending his medication thinking meds would have interfered with his works. Well, if you read the book, you will realize how difficult that was.

My Take on this work

I am so much in awe at how brilliantly mental health patients can write. My understanding of the whole notion of mental health and ‘patients’, has forever been changed. This book, recounts through short and easy to follow fictitious stories, Monty’s and Virginia’s way of coping with what I will simply call Mental Illness. Although Pankaj thinks Virginia is the non psychotic character, I beg to differ on that because I see her manifesting some of those symptoms like not trusting people, instability in both physical and mental choices.

Monty, hallucinates and now has Gulabi, a firend and dare say lover who loves him unconditionally. The only problem is that Gulabi now threatens to hold him hostage forever by making a very difficult request. Monty really doesn’t think he can make that promise and that is another trigger. The book is a mere 75 pages and l read it in one afternoon. It indeed held my attention for both personal and literary reasons.

My Rating

l give this work a 4/5. I mean, I could have given him a five if only he went the extra mile of making it lengthier and more complete. All I know as an ending is that Monty passed out. Maybe he could have explained why in more details and how if at all, he got help to move on thereafter. Virginia’s own narrative also stops as  abruptly and this leaves a loop hole in my literary appreciation.

I however sincerely commend Pankaj for this work.  When a patient and I stress a ‘Mental Patient’, takes the time to write his experiences as he/she lived it then, and how it played out mostly in the ‘brain’ where nobody could experience, we can only but conclude that all is not lost. Mental Illness is indeed not a death sentence and stigma only adds to brain damage.

A visit to his website to show some love, and why not order a copy of his book, will probably be most appreciated by his modest person.

My Memoir writing journey!

I was recently asked by an e-friend of mine, to be a guest on her blog and share ‘some’ from my memoir writing journey. I copy paste the post in its entirety because there ain’t a re-blog option on her blog.

Drum rolls for my guest Marie Abanga

I’m so pleased to introduce my guest Marie Abanga, author of My Unconventional Loves: My Hurts, My Adulteries, My Redemption, a book written in a voice so raw and open it almost takes my breath away. Here she  tells how she created her book almost in complete secrecy because of what she calls her “embarrassing and shameful revelations.” Please welcome Marie. I am so glad she persevered and successfully completed her memoir project.

My Memoir Writing Journey
by Marie Abanga

MarieHi there, my name is Marie Abanga, author of the memoir My Unconventional Loves: My Hurts, My Adulteries, My Redemption. I was so happy when one of my favorite authors, Madeline Sharples, offered to host me on her blog. She asked me to do a post on my memoir writing journey for other beginners like myself.

I sort of knew what memoirs were and had read several. But I had not come across one with such embarrassing and shameful revelations like I included in mine. There may be worse ones out there, but the authors are more prone to bring out their ‘victim hood’ than otherwise. Sure, I did that too but to a very limited extent – I focused on my story, my mess. This is what I think appealed to me most, that I write my story and just that. I decided to write it as honestly as possible.

To use or not to use characters

To begin with, please understand something about my context. In the part of the world I come from, precisely Cameroon, you DON’T write such ‘crap,’ and if you have to, don’t use your name. It is one of those ‘taboos.’ It was therefore no wonder that when my sister got wind of my project, she quickly advised I use characters. Of course, I had already decided to use ‘nick names’ for all but myself because I wanted to be known as that ‘shameless’ woman who ‘successfully’ lived ‘parallel lives.’ Using ‘characters or nick-names,’ saved or spared me some embarrassment, but revealing myself, got me some embarrassment too.

Coming out of the closet

I don’t think coming out of the closet should be reserved only to LGBT. I mean, writing a memoir of any kind is a revelation by itself. You reveal yourself to yourself and to the world. You reveal your family sort off and you reveal other ‘stuff,’ which may directly or indirectly concern or probe others. Actually for me, writing and publishing my memoir was a big therapy for my near ‘nervous breakdown.’ I needed to see myself on paper, in no-nonsense words and in all the different feelings I experienced as I wrote what I had so far lived.

Writing in hiding

To be candid, what I wrote was even very powerful and embarrassing to myself. I dreaded what would have happened had my mother or someone else stumbled upon it. I dared not write on paper, and this had disadvantages. I then also didn’t know as much about the writing and social networks and resource websites for writers of my genre. I was scared and yet determined. I wrote my chapters at midnight when all were asleep or at 3 am before starting my 4 am workouts. I tried to password the file and give it a weird name. Publishing while still in Cameroon was out of the question. I actually hid that file away for almost two years until I found myself in Belgium and discovered CreateSpace.

What I have learnt

There is no point ‘writing your memoir in hiding.’ There are lots of websites, workshops, and nice people out there prepared to help and guide or even reassure you as you embark on that ‘tedious journey.’ After ‘opening up’ and reading several other more poignant memoirs (though none from a Cameroonian or even an African author so far), I have come to realize and accept the fact that my story is not the worst ever. I have also come to benefit fully from the ‘largess’ of that ‘courageous endeavor.’ Indeed, as I keep telling people, my writing is my therapy and message and so is my memoir.

Thank you Madeline Sharples for writing your soulful memoir. Special gratitude also to some authors like Linda Joy Myers, Sherrey Meyer, Joyce Meyer, Iyanla Vanzaart, Ellen Johnson and of course Maya Angelou for sharing your stories and much more. I am forever inspired and motivated by strong women like you.

Marie’s bio:
Marie Abanga describes herself as: “A dynamic and passionate woman, mother of three boys, lawyer, activist, mental health advocate and feminist.” She is a native of Cameroon in Africa and currently lives in Brussels, Belgium. She is enrolled at the Brussels School of International Studies as an LL.M candidate for international law with international relations. She also works as the Regional Manager Africa for the Women In Parliament Global Forum. Marie was a pioneer community champion for the UN Women Knowledge Gateway for Women’s Economic Empowerment and has been spotlighted by various feminine magazines, including Women’s Lead and the Girls Globe. Fluent in English and French her native languages, she speaks pidgin English and tries to understand Italian and Swahili. In addition to her memoir, Marie keeps two blogs: her award-winning and She is making strides into the social network world, keeps numerous journals including one for her first son, and has a second memoir in the ‘conception’ stage.

Amy Banda: My Cameroonian Oprah and Heroine

Amy and I
Amy and I

Woah, I have met several people in my life, from several nationalities and I once again met a dynamic woman in my own country Cameroon. She is none other than Amy Banda and I can’t introduce her enough other than copying pasting what she writes about herself on her own blogs.

This is on blogger:

“I have a strong will, desire, urge, free spirit and burning zeal to change vices into virtues. I am blessed with an impeccable oral expression skill, which has been tested and proven so far through News Anchoring, Prime Time Show hosting, and Headlight public events like organized talks, discussions, forums, Conferences and Marriages. I have an easy going aptitude, a high sense of adaptability and a natural emotion of linking people from different horizons with one goal to achieve.

I am always on the move for new ideas, new discoveries, actions and innovative strides that aim to transform behavioral patterns in the society and community. I also have an excellent networking ability of bringing people together to rob minds on pertinent issues that will not only develop self confidence in citizens, but as well build up entrepreneurship activities. Talking about entrepreneurship, I have successfully transmitted positive rays to many in my country, who call me true icon. As if where ever I pass by, I leave a golden foot print that inspires from creation to conception, to belief, to engagement and to achievement. Call me the Voice, Amy BANDA, I will tell you how pushful a go getter I am, who refuses to take failure for an answer”;

And on her WordPress site:

I am an open-minded person who enjoys going on adventure and exchanging New and Brilliant Ideas for growth. I work in a private media organ Stv 2 as a journalist wherein I run 2 main flagship programs; ‘the Voice of the Voiceless’ and ‘the Good Morning Cameroon’ Shows. I Love making new friends and I enjoy informing in tit bits.

Amy Banda

And so, it came to happen that l was on one of her phenomenal shows as a guest: No actually on both although she wasn’t hosting the Good morning Cameroon show on that morning.
On the STV Voice of the Voiceless show
On the STV Voice of the Voiceless show

Amy is doing great with her show VoV and I wish for her to become our own Oprah. Indeed, I had thought I could get Oprah’s notice by sending her a copy of my book, but heck no, l was a ‘nobody’.

Now, I have access to our own Oprah and I wish Amy to be true to herself and her vision. Not forgetting her mission. I know that the sky is not her limit but that her limit is beyond the sky. So dear Amy, if you read this, know this is my token of appreciation and support for your work. I think all your guests are always so happy to be invited to your Show.

An African Woman: The African Perspective I know

african_womenAnd this is what I know is the general African Perspective of an African Woman:

Oh that African Woman, mother of the continent;

She is that woman who behing the ‘scenes’ is the head of her household, but who in public should only be seen and not heard;

She is that woman, who knows what it means to stay hungry so that her family has at least that one meal;

She is equally that woman who has learnt that meaning of self- sacrifice which could mean being submissive enough to bear your hurts graciously;

Yes, the African Woman as l know and have been reminded, is that ‘grateful’ woman who knows better than to ‘wash any dirty linen in public';

She knows what Dignity means;

She knows what hard work means;

She knows what approvals means and she does all it takes to get her master’s approval (be it her Father, Husband or Lover);

Hence Domestic Abuse had no place in your vocabulary, it simply should not be heard that you were ever abused at all;

Oh African Woman, maybe l am wrong given that l may hence only be African in Colour, but l dare think you’ve been through so much;

You grew up suspecting what the ‘whiteman’ had to teach;

Education in his schools was not for you, being married off early so as to ‘save’ your family some and probably add to the ‘herd of cows’, was more appropriate;

You were brought up believing so much was due to ‘madness’, ‘witchcraft’ or a ‘family curse';

Then when the ‘whiteman’ brought ‘religion’, you found solace in knowing the ALMIGHTY had a reason for our ‘plight';

Hence to you, ‘mental illness’ was another of those ‘white man’s terms’, it was just another ploy for your ‘indoctrinated’ kids to ‘act up and seek for notice';

How I wish l could be proved right or wrong;

How indeed l wish, the African perspective as l think l know, could actually be blurred by my own ‘mental issues”;

I love magazines like this, hoping they could reflect the majority
I love magazines like this, hoping they could reflect the majority
And there are such pretty stats too
And there are such pretty stats too

Indeed, I may probably by now, be African only in Colour because l have the guts to write all such ‘crap';

l really have the guts to even publish a book and not just do my ‘dirty laundry’ for a short and stinking while;

Ha, you this hitherto African Woman, you have the guts indeed to go on TV and radio and run your ‘big mouth';

Well, and alas if l may say, l sincerely think only you the African Woman can change that African Perspective of yourself if you so want;

Thus l think that’s why your own mothers fought it as they could, in all determination and dedication, to get you sent off to school as well;

l also guess that’s why, they started siding with those of you who had the ‘guts’ to choose your own ‘husband';

And this is why I do what l do, l am contributing my mite to that

The African Woman in revolution, in need and indeed
The African Woman in revolution, in need and indeed

‘revolution cum evolution’ as it is bound to ‘explode’ some day;

Surely not all in my generation, but probably for posterity;

l want my sons to know that their African Women are worth as much as themselves and should be treated with grace in an equal partnership;

That the African Woman has equal rights because they shoulder equal or even greater responsibilities;

I truly just want the world to know, that the African Woman cries more often within than she would dare otherwise, that the pain of losing her children to ‘madness’ and senseless wars and much more, is slowly ripping her apart;

Indeed, while some great African Women of today even go to battle fronts, seek seats in the Parliaments and Presidencies, are business moguls and all, I will use what I have and know best;

I will use my story, my pen and my ‘big mouth’ and so being a guest on the VOICE OF THE VOICELESS SHOW was just one of those platforms;

On the STV Voice of the Voiceless show
On the STV Voice of the Voiceless show

To this end, l will know no peace!


Inspirational Woman Leader Spotlight: Marie A. Abanga

Marie Abanga:

I am so humble and grateful each time I am spotlighted by one of these organizations. Be it professionally or personally, I work tirelessly for women’s empowerment and self-worth. To that end indeed, I will know no peace.

Originally posted on Women LEAD:

Interview by Megan Foo, President of Women LEAD’s Hong Kong Chapter


Marie A. Abanga, is what many will call a dynamic and determined woman. She goes by the three Ds of Determination-Discipline-Dedication and yes in most of what she does,  she strives to do it to her best thus she says. Marie read Law in the University and got called to the Cameroon Bar as a Lawyer. She practiced for three years and due to some personal and professional challenges, left her country to further her studies in Belgium. She is currently an LL.M Candidate in International Law with International Relations but she is especially a Feminist, a fervent blogger, an author, a mental health advocate, and also the Regional Manager Africa for the Women In Parliament Global Forum.

Women LEAD: What is your background?

Marie A. Abanga: I grew up in the city of Douala Cameroon and had dare…

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Musings from My Trips: Gabon

Oh Libreville
Oh Libreville

Oh Libreville… goes the refrain of a song l so love. You know what we have in common and you know why l am not giving up on you right? Dear pals, l had always wanted to go to Gabon but things didn’t work out, time, money, procedure and all. How delighted could l be that a technical fault of the plane will leave us grounded in Libreville for one whole day?

It didn’t start out as fun

The flight from Kigali was initially to Libreville via Douala, although Libreville ended up being before Douala. Although it would appear Libreville is after Douala in their line of flight, I think the airline goes through Douala to drop the bulk of passengers, and then pick up more passengers for Libreville, before returning to Libreville.

But, when we heard the commander himself announce our impromtu descend to Libreville instead, we knew all was not well. l was not scared l may die, l just thought it would be ok if l did, after all we would all die someday right? l was glad to have had the time with my sons discussing death among other soul stuffs.

The initial reception was shabby

You can’t just add to frightened passengers’ fright by locking them up in some goddam waiting room for over 3 hours right? Well, that was just the beginning it seemed. In our usual ‘African’ hush style, RwandAir didn’t really tell us what was going on. From our landing at 9pm until our departure for some hotel at 3 am, we had to agitate before we got any updates.

Disgruntled Passengers, locked in the waiting room
Disgruntled Passengers, locked in the waiting room
An ordeal, midnight and no information still - all we knew was DELAYED!
An ordeal, midnight and no information still – all we knew was DELAYED!
Fateful Plane
Fateful Plane

A Day in Libreville

Some Hotel somewhere
Some Hotel somewhere
Hotel Vicinity, captured sunrise from my dorm room
Hotel Vicinity, captured sunrise from my dorm room

When we got to the hotel, l bet you it was 4 am. Next saga, not enough rooms. The ‘Spinters’ and ‘bachelors’ among us were ushered into rooms with 5 beds each – they are called ‘group or pilgrim’ rooms. We were so tired to argue out. He said we leave at 8 am so all we wanted was some quiet till then.

He never came at 8 am, he must have been thinking pm in his mind l guess. We were up though and resorted to loitering and waiting for information. His phone finally went through by 10 am and he said we leave at 4 pm. Although our passports had been retained at the airport, most of decided to venture into town. Sure l did. Called a friend and they came two of them with a cool car. l was shown round Libreville in three hours. Saw the high and the low side, the presidency and the residency.

I saw the beach, and the ghetto. My phone was off and l hope these pictures from the net relate somehow.

Cool right?
Cool right?
Famous Libreville beaches
Famous Libreville beaches
One of the middle class neighbourhood
One of the middle class neighbourhood

Epilogue of that Trip

The best was awaiting us when we finally landed in Douala at 9.30 pm on Saturday July 5. Our luggage had stayed back in Libreville. l left the airport at midnight because we had to queue up to declare the missing luggage. l was exhausted. My flight back to Brussels was for 3 am Monday July 7 and l had to be back at that airport at 9pm on that Sunday July 6 to check for the ‘infamous luggage’ from Libreville. I leave the rest to your imagination and this picture of mine taken as l waited for my flight to Brussels, could tell some l suppose:

Waiting for my return flight on monday, 3 am!
Waiting for my return flight on monday, 3 am!

The main reason l am not suing that airlines is because, l got to visit Libreville for ‘free’! I never paid visa nor hotel fees and above all, l got to meet some very dear friends.

Dear gentle readers and followers, hope you did enjoy reading the musings from my various trips. I am currently on ‘real’ vacation in Nice and l hope to put together a good post for you on my return. Till then, all the best to you all!

Musings from my Trips: Rwanda

Rwandan Parliament
Rwandan Parliament

Series 2 of my Musings take us to Rwanda that beautiful country of a thousand hills, reduced to ashes 20 years ago by the most savage of man’s inhumanity to man! I found myself in Rwanda in my capacity as the African Regional Manager for the Women In Parliament Global Forum. This was ahead of our summer summit for female parliamentarians as co-hosted by the parliament of Rwanda.  That parliament holds the current world record of having 64% of seats occupied by women.

Rwandan Female MPS, female president of the Chamber of Deputies and female VP of the Senate
Rwandan Female MPS, female president of the Chamber of Deputies and female VP of the Senate

Their Path to Nation Building

From what I saw, from what l have been reading and from what l experienced during my one week stay there, a lot has been done to rebuild that country. There is no point for me to make any political or otherwise statements here, that has never been my intention on this blog. l can only admit that l was struck by the cleanliness of the city, and trust me to have gone even to their ghetto. l heard plastic sachets are forbidden and that there are specific days for nationwide clean up campaigns.

l also learnt of several social projects and Investment attractive program following our field visits to the Police Station which has a one stop center for victims of gender violence and Child Abuse. At the Rwandan Development Board, their young and dynamic COO, did a pretty presentation on their activities, achievements as well as challenges. She admitted they still had a long way to go but was glad of the progress made so far.

Breaking Down

I t would have been an outright ‘Miracle’ if l left Kigali without ‘breaking down'; and, not especially after we visited the Genocide Museum right? l mean it’s been 20 years and the skulls have all been buried in mass graves. But that is another thing that made me ‘break down’. We had to go there, go through the different presentations, and then leave a flower on those graves. I really could not understand what led mankind to such inhumanity. Did l say led as if it’s better now? Well, maybe no more genocide but other ‘human madness’.

The next day,

On the way to the ceremony, making sure l got my notes right!
On the way to the ceremony, making sure l got my notes right!

l was selected among our staff to accompany a delegation of our delegates to accompany the Rwandan First Lady as she inaugurated a new village for widows and orphans of the genocide. l couldn’t hold it no more. On our way back from there, l broke down so badly, as l have never done in public, and l wept until l choked. Fortunately, all the women present were so motherly and l literally became their daughter. l simply could not bring myself to attend their liberation day celebrations the next day so as to spare myself and they all further embarrassment.

Am standing there in the crowd
Am standing there in the crowd

My elder sister asked me yesterday if l could cry? l can’t blame her because l have always tried since my parents divorced, not to cry in the presence of anyone. Even when l lost my daughter, l would not cry in the hospital nor at my mum’s. l cried and hurt withing and hallucinated in my room or the Loo. Anyway, all is well that ends well given that l left Rwanda for Cameroon without any other incident. Ah, only that the plane almost stopped in the air; that is going to for musings 3 right?

Plain me in front of their Parliament
Plain me in front of their Parliament

Dear gentle readers and followers of mine, hope you are having a good read. Your comments are always appreciated, yes even your likes mean so much to me.

Musings from My Trips: Cameroon

Musings and all
Musings and all

I want to do a series this week on musings from my trips to Africa. I know Africa isn’t a country but a continent, yet since l visited three countries in all, l summarize the trip as being to Africa.  Yes, I visited two countries as planned, and got to a third by circumstance. However, it was most welcomed because l got to address one of my soul’s ‘issues’ l had long hoped to address.  So, series one is obviously on my Trip to Cameroon my Beloved Mother Land.

And l saw my Boys

A few hours after landing, still jet lagged
A few hours after landing, still jet lagged

At least, their Dad did well to send them over to my mum the eve of my arrival. They were thus at the airport to pick me up and we spent two good weeks together. Although when l returned from Kigali and l wanted to go visit the other two to bid them farewell, their dad had switched gears again and nastily denied, l was grateful for the time l got with them. l didn’t get to see that dad of theirs and l couldn’t be bothered. l had thought he was getting civil but no, his own demons surely aren’t done with him yet. He sure is still basking in ‘pity pride’, l was the adulterous wife – but hey, l got my divorce finalized and his name is off mine.

My magic Trio
My magic Trio

My boys and l did a lot of talking and we sure went places together. We talked about topics as varied as death, love, faith and all. Sure some will not understand such discussions with ‘kids’ that young.  l however, know my boys and feel it deep in me that those conversations flow and are rooted. We’ve done such from even when they were in the womb and even though apart, we still do converse by phone, emails and all.

Sure, l got depressed some time and cried my eyes out in the Loo. I have always loved the loo as a refuge and sometimes l can even fall asleep in there. l find some peace there especially knowing l wouldn’t be disturbed that easily. Yes, that is life and there is strength in what remains. My first son was the most hit as usual because he is all by himself at my mum’s, given his father is ‘out of the question’. Hmm, almost ‘taboo’ you would say. But one day, l know it’ll be over and am doing my best for him to have a relationship with that ‘father’ of his mindful of all. He is an innocent lad, he shouldn’t be made guilty of ‘our folly’.

Interviews and Shows on TV and radio

My, l could never for once think they would be that many. Sure l have a friend who knows some people and took it upon himself to be my PR, but even two he didn’t contact, contacted me directly. I had to choose due to my short stay and l ended up doing two TV shows and three radio shows. Considering they lasted a good hour on the average, you will agree l tried my best. The shows were not only about my book – yes that book. l equally seized whatever opportunity l got, to relate to my mental health advocacy and my other job for Women In Parliament whose summit l was preparing and got to attend in Kigali Rwanda.

TV Shows in Pictures  

With the News room crew
With the News room crew of Canal 2
Interview with Voice of the Voiceless
Interview with Voice of the Voiceless – hosted by Amy Banda of Spectrum TV
After the good morning Cameroon Show of STV
After the good morning Cameroon Show of STV

Radio Interviews

Oh no, l just realize l never did pictures with my radio hosts, what a f–k. Well, l have the recordings and will be uploading them on you tube in due time. The shows were on my book mainly and one of them dwelt on the ‘delicate subject’ of Adultery. The show was Frank Talk, and trust me to be FRANK and nothing else. The other one was called Options, and yes l admitted to the ‘poor options’ l chose in life which contributed to amplifying my mess of an hitherto past.

Epilogue of Trip 1

l am hoping to be back next year. l met quite a number of ‘friends’ and talked to several others on phone. Sure, many of those ‘friends’ are now relegated to ‘acquaintances’ and some don’t have any  more ‘qualification’ in my heart. Am sure l had long been displaced on their list too. Several others l didn’t think of as ‘friends’, surprised me by reaching out to me, to buy my book, read, and feed back me in all honesty. Even some of my ‘ex boyfriends’, contacted me and we ‘laughed and talked’. Indeed, l needed this trip!

Dear gentle followers and readers, l missed updating you from there thanks to some things l took for granted. l was however pleased to be welcomed by a blog award and l really cried over that. That was simply put; LOVELY! Wishing you all a happy Summer while hoping you stay tuned for my other musings and a little more! I always appreciate your comments, likes and sure sharing which is caring.


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